It is well known that a bath for men is not just a bath. It is a ritual that includes diving in the snow, beer with crayfish, and intimate communication. Hygienic "aspects" also take place, but they fade into the background. I cannot attribute myself to sophisticated vapers, but I love to steam in nature. When a colleague offered to go to his dacha to test the bathhouse, I agreed without hesitation.
We got to the dacha for three hours - no less. The area turned out to be a hundred kilometers from the city, but most of the time was spent on traffic jams at the exit. We arrived at the house at lunchtime, but decided to refuse lunch. At first I wanted to take a steam bath, especially since they had already heated the bath. In total, there were 7 people in our company, but the steam room presented its conditions. Its size was only enough for two, so we split up.
I got a pair Pashka is a man of 35 and part-time neighbor of my "colleague". We turned out to be pioneers and went to the steam room with interested gazes. From the confident actions of Pashka, I immediately realized that he was not a beginner in the bath. Putting on a felt hat and no less felt mittens (only felt boots were missing), he entered the steam room. Wasting no time, Pashka immediately gave steam so that the thermometer jerked up.
When the outlines of objects began to blur in my eyes, and the atmosphere began to vibrate, my satisfied partner summed up: "Now it's done." It felt like I was on another planet - on Mars, for example. I couldn’t just say an articulate sentence, but just open my mouth. It was as if molten lead would instantly enter my throat. But from Pashka's eyes, I realized that real fun is just beginning!
He took a broom and kindly offered me an original Russian occupation. In Pashka, the energetic samurai movements with a broom in hand gave out a professional with many years of experience. Three blows were enough for all the germs and bacteria to leave my body in a hurry. Already at the fifth impact, I was ready to renounce the heliocentric model of the universe, which Galileo did not do in his time. Apparently he never rested in a Russian bath.
I vaguely remember the subsequent events. Together, the men carried me out into the fresh air, dipped me into a pond and gave me a breath of life-giving vapors of ammonia. At least this is how eyewitnesses convey the chronicle to me. And everyone wanted to tell about this event, seasoning their story with a plentiful portion of loud and rolling laughter.
The secret of Pashka's superhuman powers was soon revealed - it turned out that he was a steelmaker. The long years spent at the open-hearth furnace made it practically invulnerable to heat. Sauna stoves, brooms and basins - all this is the element of my random partner, in which he has no equal. Few people try their luck and go to the steam room with him. The peasant has a kind soul, but his hands are asking to turn on the heat, which not everyone can withstand. What can I do))
Despite this extreme experience, I remember the trip from the best side. After the bath, the hostess laid the table. What was not there - and a hodgepodge, and a pig with baked apples, and pies with cloudberries. In a word, you will not find such a menu in the capital during the day with fire. At the table Pashka seemed a little dumbfounded to me, but the men did not reproach him for anything. The lesson I learned for the rest of my life - before I go with a person to the bath, I know in advance - isn't he a steelmaker?